I used to think that progress was measured in big lengths, 180-degree turns, dramatic change. Going Alicia Silverstone vegan rather than just cutting back on red meat. Giving up a promising and steady career to join the Peace Corps (as opposed to the somewhat less dramatic move of working for an admired non-profit).
The expectation that change must be extraordinary can, in and of itself, prevent meaningful – if small – progress.
Today is my 36th birthday. Like many people, I measure progress in my life in years. Where was I last year? Where do I hope to be next year? Birthdays afford us special opportunities to navel gaze. And for me, they have taken on additional significance: three years ago today, I took my last drink.
It was a glass of red wine from a lovely bottle given to me as a birthday gift by good friends. Several years earlier, one of those friends had given me a similar birthday gift, only that one was a jug of the cheap stuff, the label replaced with a hand-written one that read “Jenna’s Jug o’ Wine.” The jug was apparently reminiscent of a similar one I’d drunk all by myself at a party. Frankly, I don’t recall.
More than three years ago, a birthday without booze would have been like a day without sunshine. Not only could I not imagine a birthday (or any celebration) without alcohol, the drinking became the main focus of my attention. The food, friends, and conversation all took a back seat. Am I drinking too fast? Has anyone noticed I’m more than a little tipsy? Am I having enough fun???
To celebrate my birthday today, two friends came over (one of them the bearer of the famed jug) and I made pizza. We drank seltzer and ate cupcakes. We watched the utter drivel that is the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Doritos for the brain).
No one died from lack of alcohol and the celebration was no less special without wine or cocktails. Rather it was more special for their absence. A testament to the value of slow, steady progress, the daily discipline that allows any of us to make real lasting change.
J, another thoughtful entry! I especially can relate to the very last line: “A testament to the value of slow, steady progress, the daily discipline that allows any of us to make real lasting change.” So often in our lives, meaningful change is measured in inches and goes by unnoticed until one day we realize that we have crossed a theshold of sorts and surprise ourselves with our own ability to make progress from within.
As the holidays approach, my thoughts turn to my dad, who passed away from a heart attack in 1987 at the far too young age of 42. Last year, I saw myself going down a path that felt too close to his own for my comfort. Lack of exercise and unhealthy eating habits (still working on that) forced me to take stock of my health as I approached the age my dad was when he had his first heart attack (39). I took up running one year ago this month with the goal of running a particular 15K race in my college town seven months later.
I had heard the phrase “slow and steady wins the race” applied to almost everything since I can remember but at no time has it resonated more clearly. Cutting back on certain foods instead of trying to immediately eliminate them and taking it one step at a time and increasing my distance one mile a week has really paid off. The idea of starting and finishing a half marathon last year was unthinkable but with the steady commitment to training and being more careful with my eating, dreams have become realities.
You, J, are a huge inspiration. Thanks.
Thank you, Billy, for this thoughtful comment. I started running about 2 years ago and find it has a “one day at a time” quality that is useful in so many of our endeavors! Happy running and thank you again.