It occurs to me as I continue to look at my life as objectively as possible that I often hold myself to unreasonable standards of perfection. As much as meditation has softened me to situations and other people, I continue to take an unforgiving approach to my own thoughts, experiences, and even my own body.
The following is a pact I have made with myself to practice imperfection, to embrace the things about my real life I often try to strong-arm into compliance, and to be gentler with my own damn self. Please feel free to add your thoughts or to create your own pact:
- I will no longer, at a distance of a quarter-inch from my bathroom mirror, try to rid my skin of every last blackhead, flake of dry skin, and stray hair that may or may not exist
- I will not try to “make good time” everywhere I go
- I will not maniacally remove an otherwise fine manicure because of a microscopic chip nor will I discard articles of clothing because of pulls, small holes, and other minute imperfections; rather I will wear both with pride
- I will not scuttle after every Darwin-colored tumbleweed of cat hair that rolls across our matching hardwood floors
- When I step on a piece of cat food, people food, cat litter, or other unidentified object, I will not obsessively retrace my steps with a dust buster
- I will not try to anticipate every food, beverage, and entertainment need of my significant other, cats, or houseguests; rather I will place the onus on them to “use their words”
- I will (try very hard to) not obsess over the size, shape, and texture of various parts of my body
- I will not chase with a lint roller anyone who sits on our cat-adored couch
- I will not insist on finding a 10th way in which I will practice imperfection
yes, someone once said to me, that “we are all perfectly imperfect” and that is reassuring thought
Perfectly imperfect. I’ve got that one down pat!
Jenna,
Let me know if you want any help with this. I’m really good at imperfection
Thanks for the offer!
A few of these really “hit home” with me, even though I know better.
We’re all works in progress, right??
Contemplating the inevitability of death can reduce the importance of perfection. I have to remind myself day in a day out that this is all an illusion.
That’s what it all comes back to, right?
I couldn’t agree more. Contemplating death and impermanence makes me a more peaceful and kinder person.
This is a great practice for me too. I often drive myself mad over the minutia, and so much of the time — it’s just not worth it. Thank you!
Another way to fill in the “spaces” and avoid just being
Think a lot of the drive for our need for physical/social perfection comes from the fear of being judged, so we judge ourselves first. Also, think our ego demands perfection, to twist us into a knot to it. I’m aghast that as a practitioner, I allow my vanity to rule my perceptions.
I hear ya, but rather than being aghast, I wonder if it’s possible to use this very situation to begin to soften towards ourselves? At least I feel that is what my most wonderful meditation instructor would suggest.
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